I started this journey with Proverbs 31 Ministries and 22,000 woman (it has grown since then to 24,000) at the beginning of August. I remember hearing Melissa say to get ready, we would be facing some battles since we had stepped out and stepped up to the challenge of saying “yes” to God. That was on a Sunday. On Wednesday, the devil busted down my front door and raided my house! Not literally, but he might as well have. I have fought a battle with Satan that I did not take authority over until yesterday, August 28, 2013. Why? Well, I’m like everyone else. If I ignore him, he will go away. At least that’s what we think most of the times. But the reality is he won’t leave. He just hides behind doors, under beds and in hardened hearts and depressed minds. He tortures your children and chases you around all day laughing while you are pulling out your hair wondering “Lord, why is this so hard right now? Where did this weight of the world come from all of sudden? Why do I feel so tired? How can I commit to this study when I barely have time to breathe?” Sound familiar? Well, it was a reality for me.
My husband has been suffering from chronic back pain for 4 years. He has been on disability for 3 years. He is 41 years old. No longer working at his job as a Social Worker at a local hospital, which he loved. No longer working in the yard, plowing gardens, raking leaves, weed eating and “piddling” as he likes to call it. This young man, married with two beautiful girls, worship leader and piano player is no longer functioning like a normal man his age. Yet everyone around him, including his wife (me) has expected him to carry on at times. It’s been a while and not much is getting better. Actually, if anything, it’s getting worse. He wants to move closer to his aging parents for fear he will end up in a wheelchair and need help from his family. But his aging parents are still aging with health issues of their own. His siblings are scattered. Me and our girls are what he has. I’m not sure anymore if he really wants that either. You see, chronic pain, it does a number on you. It plays tricks on you. Tricks of Satan. He makes you question everything you have and everything you are. So when I started this bible study, this was the perfect opportunity for Satan to kill two birds with one stone. John 10:10 says that Satan comes to kill, steal and to destroy but Jesus came to give us life and give it more abundantly. Satan wants to kill. He is a blood-seeker. He’s after mine right now. I have purposed in my heart to make heaven my home and serve God as long as there is breath in my body. I am praying and claiming healing for my husband. I am putting God first in my life, for He has promised to move mountains for me if I just put Him first in my life. Satan is mad at me!!! But guess what, girls? I’m going to #StickWithIt!!
My husband says husband says he loves me. I doubt it because of actions and words that are hurtful and I’m not placed before others at times. But I took my vows seriously and I am praying deliverance. My marriage is very important to me. I will do whatever it takes to make it work. I’m going to #StickWithIt!!!
My home is beautiful. God has blessed us. Even though there are days I am very tired and I could throw my hands in the air and give up and say I don’t care. This is the life God gave ME! I’m going to do what He has called me to do as a wife and mother. I am going to praise my way through the piles of laundry and dirty dishes. I will claim His promises while mopping the floors and cleaning the toilets. I am a registered nurse and I work 40 plus hours a week. I leave I’m going to #StickWithIt.
This OBS (Online Bible Study) with Proverbs 31 Ministries has been a life saver for me. I thank Him every day for this study. I have drawn closer to God the past few weeks and have become a stronger Christian woman for it. I am focused. My eyes are fixed on God. HE is my number one. HE is everything to me. He is the air I breathe. When all Hell breaks loose and the world is falling down around me, He shelters me under the shadow of His wings and keeps me safe. He has NEVER let me down. He has ALWAYS answered my prayers. Even when I didn’t like the answer, I still got one!! I don’t deserve Him. He is the love of my life and I finally realize NO ONE can love me like He does. He is so worth it. I could have called it quits many times during this study with all the stress and interruptions and aggravations I have faced. But I said #YesToGod and I’m going to #StickWithIt!!